Tim's working on a foreclosure house out in Excelsior. The first day he worked there, he came home talking about how incredible it would be to own: what a great place for house church, what a great place for Lucy to run. I laughed a little and didn't think much about it.

Yesterday, he had to work late and invited us to come have dinner with him out at this house so he could work and still see us. This house: it's a siren's song. It's set in a deeply wooded area off of Highways 7 and 19. Ridiculously far away from everything, including the constant drum from the MSP airport.

It's about 3500 square feet set back on a corner lot. The yard is MASSIVE and bordered by evergreens and neglected, but beautiful landscaping with a huge fire pit and room for major garden beds. A double car garage and a long (flat!) driveway.

Split level entry - the basement main room is as big as our whole first floor with a fireplace and beautiful woodwork. Two bedrooms and a bath in the basement. Upper level has a long winding living room, a formal dining room, a casual dining room and a big kitchen - all open floor plan and leading out into a ridiculously large "sun room" that has an 8 person hot tub. The sun room is also bigger than the first floor of our home. Back down the hallway are two bedrooms and a bath, with master suite that is equally out of proportion to normal room sizes.

Now, the place has been trashed. Water was left in the hot tub to rot. No fridge. All the bathrooms are terrible and smell. The carpet is icky. There's all sorts of weird paint going on inside. And some water damage in the basement from backed up water over the winter.

At first, I walked in and thought it was nice, but nothing to be excited over. Then Lucy and I explored the yard and she was in total bliss. And every time I stepped into a room I couldn't help but plan how we would use it.

"This would be lucy's room. This would be the baby room. This would be our office. This room would be just for guests. Tim could have his office downstairs. how would I arrange our living room? What would we put in the basement room? We could use this room for house church. How many chairs do you think we could get in here?"

Every minute in that house and my heart got more and more entrenched. Finally, I kissed Tim goodbye and told him I had to go before I got completely insane. At first Tim and I both started thinking how we would serve the church and Christ with such a property. But quickly it became about filling it with things, remodeling, design, furniture, big tvs and sectional couches. The truth of the matter is living in such luxury and space would divide our hearts-- make us more likely to skip church and meeting together with those we love and serve with. It's a truly American siren song.

As I drove home, I tried not to think about how wonderful the place was and how much fun lucy had at play in the backyard. But instead focused on the long commute back to the big city. Pulling into our cracked and weedy driveway, I was glad to have this space be my home. It's tight and a little uncomfortable to live here. We are piled on top of our neighbors. Planes fly over every 10 minutes. We have about 40 square feet of grass. And a block full of psychotic squirrels that literally have chewed holes THROUGH the city's plastic garbage bins. But it's home and close to our dear family in Christ. And here we will stay.

(But is it too much to wish for a fenced in yard and a 2-car garage??)