So I have this issue. I had messes. I know. It's ridiculous. But nothing makes me crazier than a whole bucket of toys dumped around the room. Lucy loves to dump toys and it makes me temporarily insane.

Last Friday, just before heading out to The Rock, I'd had it. I'd hit my limit as a mom. Lucy grabbed her bucket of toys and started to dump them. Without thinking, I said, "Lucy, so help me God, if you dump those toys I'll throw every one of them away."

Yes. Stellar mom. Right there. I deeply understand why my dad threw out our Lite Brites as a kid. Tim shot me a look and I think even said, "you're being a bad mom right now." I got the idea and backed off.

Okay. Flash forward to this week. I was switching laundry downstairs and Lucy had been upstairs watching tv (next to aforementioned bucket of mayhem). I heard a big crash up there. A few minutes went by and she came down the stairs and said:

"Mommy, I have a question."
"Yes, honey, what is it?"
"I don't want you to be an-gy." (she can't sound out that 'r' sound yet)
"Oh honey, it's okay. What do you want to ask me?"
"I dumped out the toys and didn't put them away."

ACK. Straight to the heart. She's not even 2 and a half yet! There is no kind of conviction like the kind that comes from your child. She sees my failings and my flesh like no one else. And is often on the receiving end of it.

I sat down right there and apologized to her. Asking her to forgive me for being "fussy" *(how she'd read my mental breakdowns). I told her it was wrong for mommy to behave that way, and she agreed!

There's a line from the Bible that goes: "train your child in the way he should go and when he is grown, he will not depart from it." Funny, you read that in good times and think about how you can train your child in good things. But in this context, you can train your child in your bad behaviors too, and when they are grown--they won't depart from it, either. It's so critical to grow in self-discipline (and humility when I fail), otherwise Lucy will grow up seeing me as a hypocrite. Lord, help me grow in humility!